My Grandpa

My grandfather passed away this morning. John James Kondelis was born in Baltimore, Maryland to Thelma Lottie Whitten and Demetrius Augustus Kondelis. He was an intelligent man, who ran track in his youth and earned a track scholarship for college. He married my grandmother, Dorothy Mae Sliger and soon after served in the Korean War. He lost one of his legs from a land mine while serving, and with that, his track scholarship. He still continued with his education though, after being honorably discharged and received many military honors, including the purple heart. He became a successful accountant, as well as a father of six. Eventually my grandparents divorced, and my grandpa remarried some time later.

My grandfather loved to sing. He sang in his church's choir as a youth. He and my grandmother converted to Mormonism while they were still together, and through them, my mom, and then to me. I am very grateful for his conversion because it has greatly blessed my life. My grandfather participated in other Christian faiths later on, but always continued his singing.

I visited him recently from April 9th to 14th and it was really good to see him. He had been in the Loch Raven Veterans Community Living Center for the past 3-4 years, and that's where I spent time with him. Like him, I love to sing, so I sang to him. I sang older songs that he would know, such as Chatanooga Choo-Choo and You Are My Sunshine. His eyes brightened up, he moved his hand along to the tune, and he sang along with me. I also sang some hymns to him as well.

The first day I went to visit him, he teased his roommate and introduced me as his girlfriend. He had a mischievous sense of humor and liked to flirt and tease with women ;) His roommate huffed back, "Girlfriend!? She's not your girlfriend. You're related!"

My mom reminded him that I was left-handed, like him. He asked me, "Why are you left-handed?" I responded, "Because of you!" and he smiled.

Mom brought him some oyster stew, which he has always loved. When he asked me if I liked it, I told him, "No," I didn't. He waved his hand at me, dismissively, and told me to go back west ;) He kept his sense of humor with him even at the end of his life. He joked with me, my mom, and his nurses. He always kept chocolates and little gifts to give to his doctors, nurses, and staff members.

My mom and him became very close the past few years. She visited him frequently, managing his bills, bringing him food he liked (like the oyster stew), helping him with his medical needs, and just spending time with him. Mom had been visiting my grandpa every day for the past few weeks as she had taken family leave to spend more time with him. (Grandpa had leukemia and lymphoma, and the doctor had told her that Grandpa probably didn't have much time left.)

She had to return to work this week for the night shift from Friday night until Saturday morning. My mom called my grandpa after work on Saturday and talked with him. He told her that he was waiting for her and said, "I love you, my Brenda."Mom called Grandpa's place at 5:30 this Sunday morning and the nurse told her Grandpa was fine and sleeping. Later though at 9:00 AM the doctor called my mom to tell her that Grandpa's condition had worsened. Mom picked up my sister very quickly and ran red lights all the way up to his home. When she got there, he was lying with his eyes closed. She placed her head upon his chest and heard his heart beating. She looked up at him and he opened his blue eyes and looked at her. Then he closed his eyes and his heart stopped beating. He really had waited for her.

I'm grateful for my grandfather, grateful for his friendliness, humor, love of music and singing. I am grateful for the time I'v had with him, and because of him, the life, the religion, even the left-handedness that I now have. And I am grateful for my mom. For her example of grace and dignity as she cared for her father, for the forgiveness she so readily gave to him. I love them both.